Modern Father Pillows

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

"He just said his first word!"

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I brought frankincense." "I brought gold." "I brought diapers!" "A wise woman!"

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

Maternity tattoos

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

Laptops

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

"Go ask your search engine."

Phone Mittens

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?..."

"Santa said to stop making toys. From here on out we'll be making computers and phones. Does anyone know anything about technology?"

'He's already surfing without nappies!'

'Sending someone to his room was a punishment when I was a kid.'

"Okay, Jaxcsunn, stay still in the crystal circle while I douse you in essential oils."