Modern Father Gifts

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"He just said his first word!"

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

"I brought frankincense." "I brought gold." "I brought diapers!" "A wise woman!"

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

Maternity tattoos

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

"No. I've never had any problems with my kids not paying attention to me."

'Have you googled me to see how old I was when I was born?'

Laptops

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

"Go ask your search engine."

'Sending someone to his room was a punishment when I was a kid.'

"Santa said to stop making toys. From here on out we'll be making computers and phones. Does anyone know anything about technology?"

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?..."

Phone Mittens

'He's already surfing without nappies!'