Modern Parents Gifts

"You'd tell me if I was genetically modified?"

The New Game

'Where do you plug it in?'

Big book of memes

"He just said his first word!"

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"Have you noticed the kids never ask us anything since they learned to google?"

"Isn't there a TED Talk he can listen to about the birds and the bees?"

"They grow up so fast. From Mother Goose to Google."

"Aw, his first mobile..."

'We'd like to christen him 2GR4T7VXS35. That way it'll be easier for him to get his own web domain name when he's older.'

"In addition to a name for his birth certificate, would you like him to reserve an email address and a cell phone number for him?"

Visit Santa

Young man, what have I told you about texting during family dinnertime?

"Should I give them my phone?

"Baby FOMO."

"See, honey? No hipsters under your bed."

"My parents are the same way. Lots of ostentatious child-rearing, very little direct nurturing."

Hoverboard Parents

"We're looking for a pediatrician who reflects our design sensibility."

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

Dog Walking Services

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'