Modern Parenthood Gifts

'It never fails to stop him crying - handing him the phone.'

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

Low-Energy Drinks

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"It's a boy, but that's a common one so don't get too excited."

"He just said his first word!"

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"We have the exact same taste."

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

Baby Screen Time

Growth Charts

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'

'This is a fine time to leave! What if the doctor delivers the baby while you're out!'

"I made the mistake of telling him that the world is his canvas."

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

'There's a planet in my book with two moons! Imagine how much howling we could do there!'

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

Young Gums

A postwoman delivers mail together with her baby who is riding in the letter carrier.