Modern Parenting Enthusiasts Pillows

'Okay, I'm walking now. I need a mobile device.'

"They're a very hi-tech family. Apparently, even their baby was cordless."

"Helicopter parent is old school. Now we have drone parents."

"Yes, I have taken my medication. Have you taken your medication?"

"We had it bronzed. It was his first tweet."

'She can't answer when I call, but she loves the ring tone.'

'He took his first step!'

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

'The child is very illogical'

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

"He just said his first word!"

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

"I brought frankincense." "I brought gold." "I brought diapers!" "A wise woman!"

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

'Then, after a while, the pitter patter of tiny running shoes.'

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

Phone Mittens

'Hang on. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Apparently that's not a good idea.'

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"