Fatherhood Enthusiast Pillows

"Boss... I need to take a few months off for paternity leave."

"I told you, always support the baby's head!"

"Well ok....but in your case I'll need DNA proof!"

'A rocking horse? Boy! What will they think of next?!'

'I'm afraid the legislation only covers one partner.'

'I Failed Insemnation!'

'With a boss, a wife and three teenaged kids, I haven't had much time to worry about international affairs.'

Fathers Saluting Each Other.

Sometimes I think I liked it better when they gave out cigars. (new fathers are covered in bubble gum).

'Can you fix it, Daddy?'

'I'm begging you, please don't let me go!'

"Father's Day presents."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

Growth Charts

I love my family!

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

My daddy ate my homework

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

"Which one is yours?"

"Car accident? No, I volunteered to hold the rope for the pinata at my son's birthday party!"

"Mommy! Mommy! Daddy lost!"

"Deny it all you want. He looks just like you."