Fatherhood Fanatic Pillows

'Here's your choice. Grounded for a week or a walk around the Mall with me while I wear this.'

"Dad, if Mom ever has a boyfriend, I hope he's just like you."

Baby Shower

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'She posted her first blog today.'

"Mom wants us to spend 'Quality time' together, so don't blame me."

"It's different when they're your own."

"I was thinking of joining a parenting class."

"When in the course of human events it becomes... Oh, blast it! Adams is just going to edit the heck out of this..."

'Not today,son-not on Fathers' Day!'

"Can you wangle me some parental leave?"

Benjamin Franklin

"You better take Teddy's temperature too....he was awfully sick this morning!"

'Fathers Day.'

The day after Father's Day.

"What's it like to be the parent of a nonhuman?"

'I'm not giving you a lift. If you want to run away from home, run.'

"I couldn't find the off switch."

'A rocking horse? Boy! What will they think of next?!'

"Well ok....but in your case I'll need DNA proof!"

'Oh, don't even think about living life vicariously through me!'

Fathers Saluting Each Other.

'I'm begging you, please don't let me go!'

"My daddy has a broken leg, so I need to mark his territory for him..."

'We don't work on Christmas. You can celebrate the holidays with your family!'

'I'm afraid the legislation only covers one partner.'

'If she goes, we go!'

'I told him that you said people should share things with the less fortunate!'

'With a boss, a wife and three teenaged kids, I haven't had much time to worry about international affairs.'

Holiday Venn Diagram

'I am too the boss of you!'

'Settle down now and Daddy will take you for a nice ride.'

Men Parenting

'Why did you call me son? You're not my father.'

The Dad Great for Car, Home, or Office!