Fatherhood Fanatic Pillows

'Here's your choice. Grounded for a week or a walk around the Mall with me while I wear this.'

"Dad, if Mom ever has a boyfriend, I hope he's just like you."

Baby Shower

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'She posted her first blog today.'

"Mom wants us to spend 'Quality time' together, so don't blame me."

"It's different when they're your own."

'Not today,son-not on Fathers' Day!'

"When in the course of human events it becomes... Oh, blast it! Adams is just going to edit the heck out of this..."

"I was thinking of joining a parenting class."

Benjamin Franklin

"Can you wangle me some parental leave?"

'Fathers Day.'

"You better take Teddy's temperature too....he was awfully sick this morning!"

The day after Father's Day.

"What's it like to be the parent of a nonhuman?"

'I'm not giving you a lift. If you want to run away from home, run.'

"I couldn't find the off switch."

'I'm begging you, please don't let me go!'

'Oh, don't even think about living life vicariously through me!'

Fathers Saluting Each Other.

'A rocking horse? Boy! What will they think of next?!'

"Well ok....but in your case I'll need DNA proof!"

'We don't work on Christmas. You can celebrate the holidays with your family!'

'With a boss, a wife and three teenaged kids, I haven't had much time to worry about international affairs.'

'I told him that you said people should share things with the less fortunate!'

'I'm afraid the legislation only covers one partner.'

"My daddy has a broken leg, so I need to mark his territory for him..."

'If she goes, we go!'

'I am too the boss of you!'

Holiday Venn Diagram

'Settle down now and Daddy will take you for a nice ride.'

Men Parenting

'Why did you call me son? You're not my father.'

The Dad Great for Car, Home, or Office!