Fatherhood Humour Fanatic Pillows

". . .Get back in there and mess up your room properly!"

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

'He's bound to wake up sometime!'

'Now listen: The big hairy ones are the hunters, while the smaller ones with long hair are the gatherers...'

'Dad, how come we never see and of them in flight?'

'Good one Dad. Imagine your catch if you had bought us REAl fishing gear.'

Add your kids' ages together...

'Fathers Day.'

'He was a great player...he gained 'many cap's' for his Country !'

'It never fails. Two pizzas exhaust Dad as much as a 10 mile run exhausts me.'

Baby Shower

'It seems like only yesterday, you were just a slimy little maggot.'

'Here's your choice. Grounded for a week or a walk around the Mall with me while I wear this.'

'Don't take it too hard, Dad, Mr. Hodes down the street is just having a great year.'

"Dad, if Mom ever has a boyfriend, I hope he's just like you."

'I'm begging you, please don't let me go!'

Fathers Saluting Each Other.

'A rocking horse? Boy! What will they think of next?!'

"Well ok....but in your case I'll need DNA proof!"

'Fine thanks, and how are things with you?'

"I think our daughter got her brains from me."

'I'm afraid the legislation only covers one partner.'

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

'I'm banking on celebrating Father's Day this year!'

"My daddy has a broken leg, so I need to mark his territory for him..."

'With a boss, a wife and three teenaged kids, I haven't had much time to worry about international affairs.'

'Settle down now and Daddy will take you for a nice ride.'

Men Parenting

"Oh come on Dad, you know I'm not VAT registered. Just give me my pocket money!"

"Boss... I need to take a few months off for paternity leave."

'Can you fix it, Daddy?'

"I told you, always support the baby's head!"

'Make it easy on yourself, Dad- Just lend me your ATM card.'

'Want to watch the Father-Son talk greatest hits?'