Humorous Dads Pillows

'Good one Dad. Imagine your catch if you had bought us REAl fishing gear.'

'Don't take it too hard, Dad, Mr. Hodes down the street is just having a great year.'

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

'He's bound to wake up sometime!'

Camel rider sees sign stating: The Next Mirage 16 miles.

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

Official Team Cap With Beard

How witness protection really works...

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'

The inventor of the Slip 'n Slide becomes a father.

'He looks exactly like his father!'

Add your kids' ages together...

'It never fails. Two pizzas exhaust Dad as much as a 10 mile run exhausts me.'

'He was a great player...he gained 'many cap's' for his Country !'

"I've got 2 WONDERFUL children. 2 out of 5 isn't bad I suppose!"

'I can't sleep Dad. Tell me another scary story?'

I'm going to have a baby girl soon. What's a good name for a baby girl, Randy? Wait … you're going to have a what? Tell me you didn't just say what I think you said, little buddy. I'm going to have a baby girl. Met a lady, we fell in love, got married, and now we're going to have a baby girl. Wait ... you're talking about some video game, aren't you? I'm thinking of naming her SIMantha, but that might bee too obvious.

Nope, not how you change her diaper.

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

"Trust your instinct and soar! Is that all the advice you could give me for my first flight Dad?"

Our Yuppie Dad

"It's the kids! Quick! Stash the cigs!"

'I'm banking on celebrating Father's Day this year!'

"My daddy has a broken leg, so I need to mark his territory for him..."

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

Men Parenting

"Daddy is fiscally buff."

'And Rachel, if you're not back by midnight, this video of you taking a bath in our kitchen sink when you were 2 is getting posted on Youtube.'

Do Not Disturb

'Want to watch the Father-Son talk greatest hits?'

'Make it easy on yourself, Dad- Just lend me your ATM card.'

Okay, one more time... Mom is expecting a baby, but that doesn't mean you'll be sold as a used kid. Got it now?

'Dad, the kid who lives here has broken your hammer with his head.'

'Contrary to popular Victorian convention Albert believed that children should be heard and not seen...'