Playful Dad Humor Pillows

"Slow down, Dad. I take five steps to your one."

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

'He's bound to wake up sometime!'

"Look, honey, I got dinner on line!"

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

"What do you call a person who only eats corn?"

Camel rider sees sign stating: The Next Mirage 16 miles.

Next to Nothing

"I love my new tie! I'll wear it to work tomorrow." "The report'll be done shortly." "Excellent!"

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

Note Book

How witness protection really works...

Official Team Cap With Beard

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

"It's a dependent!"

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

"I don't think the crackling sound coming from your lower back is as serious as you thought. Just relax and I'll have this Rice Krispie Square out of your back pocket in no time."

Looky... It's Bat'minton... I'll see myself out."

"OK...what's the quickest way to the hospital?"

'The brown one that smells like an old man.'

'Good one Dad. Imagine your catch if you had bought us REAl fishing gear.'

"Have you seen my wife?"

Child on a schedule.

"Oh no, the lectern and microphone. I get the feeling I'm getting another one of your boring life lectures."

"What happens if you get the headphones in the wrong ear?"

'He was a great player...he gained 'many cap's' for his Country !'

'In this rare photo of President Bush standing beside former President Clinton, one can't help but notice how the weight of office has grayed their hair.'

Father's Day

"Yo, Greg!" "Hey, Warren!"

Vasectomy Clinic: Convert to Unleaded Here

"Someday you'll understand the ways of the world...with the exception of tax and health insurance forms."