Dad Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'He's bound to wake up sometime!'

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

"What do you call a person who only eats corn?"

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

"Look, honey, I got dinner on line!"

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

Camel rider sees sign stating: The Next Mirage 16 miles.

Next to Nothing

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

"I love my new tie! I'll wear it to work tomorrow." "The report'll be done shortly." "Excellent!"

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

Official Team Cap With Beard

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

Note Book

"It's a dependent!"

"OK...what's the quickest way to the hospital?"

Looky... It's Bat'minton... I'll see myself out."

"But mom, I can't clean my room now. I just won the Kids Bedroom Seal of Approval!"

Child on a schedule.

"What happens if you get the headphones in the wrong ear?"

'In this rare photo of President Bush standing beside former President Clinton, one can't help but notice how the weight of office has grayed their hair.'

'He was a great player...he gained 'many cap's' for his Country !'

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

"Oh no, the lectern and microphone. I get the feeling I'm getting another one of your boring life lectures."

I arrived, I Ate, I Conquered (aka Pooped).

"Sergio, you are the best father in the world. Except, you know, when you're not."

'What'd you make dad' - 'It's a snowman, with his ugly, ungrateful son,'

"Yo, Greg!" "Hey, Warren!"

"Stop following me! I taught you all that I know."

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