Humorist Dad Pillows

'Want to watch the Father-Son talk greatest hits?'

An entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Digital Doppleganging: unplugging an inept player and letting them think they are playing while the computer really is.

'He was a great player...he gained 'many cap's' for his Country !'

Madonna of the Pukes.

Cry babies.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

'He's bound to wake up sometime!'

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"Have you seen my dad?"

"Beds are not made for jumping on."

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

"Good news. It's a small pig."

Camel rider sees sign stating: The Next Mirage 16 miles.

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

'No not there. Let's try it over here this time...'

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

'Oh, don't mind Jeff. It's just his turn to change the Baby's nappy.'

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

"Greetings, Earthling. How are the schools?"