Funny Dad Pillows

How witness protection really works...

Cry babies.

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

'He's bound to wake up sometime!'

'Are we there yet?'

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

Fat Kid 14- Gets re-animated

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

Pregnant man: 'My water just broke! False alarm. Just spilled my brewski.'

'He looks exactly like his father!'

'Good one Dad. Imagine your catch if you had bought us REAl fishing gear.'

Child on a schedule.

'This mandarin chicken is delicious, Dad. It tastes like you bought it yourself.'

'It never fails. Two pizzas exhaust Dad as much as a 10 mile run exhausts me.'

'He was a great player...he gained 'many cap's' for his Country !'

"When I said you could use other materials with the sand, I was thinking shells and driftwood."

'Can you do the dishes, love. I'll do the school run.'

Oh, Wow! With all this baby food flying around, I can't wait until he starts eating steak!!!

A man outside of gents toilet sees sign: New Men - With Baby changing facilities.

'Don't take it too hard, Dad, Mr. Hodes down the street is just having a great year.'

Mix up on the maternity ward.

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

Bob's Unexpected Father's Day Gift...

"So, you're the blind date! Listen, if it doesn't work out with my Lisa, just comeback: she has 27 sisters...."

"They'll come home. They're microchipped."

"Daddy is fiscally buff."

'Dad, the kid who lives here has broken your hammer with his head.'

Father's Day.

"And I thought changing the twins was going to be difficult!"