Fatherly Humor Appreciator Pillows

"Dad's got an imaginary friend too, he's called Techincal support"

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

'He's bound to wake up sometime!'

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

Next to Nothing

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

Official Team Cap With Beard

Note Book

Looky... It's Bat'minton... I'll see myself out."

"OK...what's the quickest way to the hospital?"

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

"Bah! in my day bands knew how to play their computers properly. Like Kraftwerk"

"Look, Mommy. Puppy already knows a trick! What should we call him?" "How about 'Scooter.'"

'Daddy's busy - Go draw on the wall.'

"Okay, I'll change your diaper, but you better not tell any of my patients."

Child on a schedule.

'Dad, I need help with chemistry, what's the periodic table?'

Caesar slips on ice. Bystander says 'He was warned-beware the ice of March'

'I can't talk now Kevin. I'm under house arrest.'

'It seems like only yesterday, you were just a slimy little maggot.'

"Yo, Greg!" "Hey, Warren!"

Vulgar-free Beaver

"I hope you've got planning permission for that?"

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

Beware Of The Gnome - Look dear how quaint.

"Stickers, fairy tattoos, a coloring book ... but no, Mom, I'm not seeing any stretch-mark cream in the goody bag."

"He made me promise I'd never mistreat you. Then he made me sit and listen to three house of dad rock."

'Look Mummy: I've pu on my shell all by myself...'

"Today you're an ugly duckling, but one day you'll turn into a gawky adolescent duck."

For cryin' out loud, if you say "ain't it a hoot" one more time!

I'm almost full grown, you've got to stop treating me like a kid!

"My daddy has a broken leg, so I need to mark his territory for him..."

'I'm banking on celebrating Father's Day this year!'