Dad Joke Appreciator Pillows

'Dad, I need help with chemistry, what's the periodic table?'

"Dude, you should wear it on the front. Chicks love that!"

"What?"

Father's Day Cards for Your New Stepdad

"Okay, I'll change your diaper, but you better not tell any of my patients."

"This review calls our comic strip 'sophomoric'.

Mandarins and Boydarins

'I think he's getting serious. He's laughing at Daddy's jokes.'

"I hope you've got planning permission for that?"

"Sounds like someone should have talked to the Three Little Pigs about homeowner's insurance."

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

'He's bound to wake up sometime!'

"What do you call a person who only eats corn?"

"Look, honey, I got dinner on line!"

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

Next to Nothing

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

"I love my new tie! I'll wear it to work tomorrow." "The report'll be done shortly." "Excellent!"

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

Note Book

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

Official Team Cap With Beard

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

"It's a dependent!"

Looky... It's Bat'minton... I'll see myself out."

"Is this fake noodle." "Yes, impasta."

"I don't think the crackling sound coming from your lower back is as serious as you thought. Just relax and I'll have this Rice Krispie Square out of your back pocket in no time."

"OK...what's the quickest way to the hospital?"

"Congratulations! You've told the same joke one thousand times!"

'The brown one that smells like an old man.'

"No sign of Simba?"

"Have you seen my wife?"

"I don't ever want you taken away, son. Never get into subtraction."