Dad Joke Lover Pillows

'Your father doesn't have A.D.D He's got D-A-D...'

"Someday you'll understand the ways of the world...with the exception of tax and health insurance forms."

Vasectomy Clinic: Convert to Unleaded Here

"Did you get a haircut, darling?"

Cocktail Franks

"Look, honey, I got dinner on line!"

Yet another selfie by the invisible man

"I've just invented the lift."

"Yeah, I like these, I'll take them."

"Can you give me something for my liver?" "How about a pound of onions?"

Work Round the Clock

"'No bones about it?' What? Oh, right. I get it. Ha."

"Dios mio! What a complete idiot!"

'In this rare photo of President Bush standing beside former President Clinton, one can't help but notice how the weight of office has grayed their hair.'

'Always aim high, son - that way, you won't splash your shoes.'

"Just a warning, kids. Uncle Paul's been stockpiling puns and he's not afraid to use them."

"Does this make me your bitch?"

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

'He's bound to wake up sometime!'

"What do you call a person who only eats corn?"

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

Next to Nothing

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

"I love my new tie! I'll wear it to work tomorrow." "The report'll be done shortly." "Excellent!"

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

Note Book

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

Official Team Cap With Beard

"It's a dependent!"

Looky... It's Bat'minton... I'll see myself out."

"Is this fake noodle." "Yes, impasta."

"OK...what's the quickest way to the hospital?"