Funny Dad Appreciator Pillows

'The Sunday funnies in PowerPoint... your dad is awesome, Billy!'

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

'He's bound to wake up sometime!'

"Look, honey, I got dinner on line!"

Next to Nothing

How witness protection really works...

Note Book

Official Team Cap With Beard

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

"I don't think the crackling sound coming from your lower back is as serious as you thought. Just relax and I'll have this Rice Krispie Square out of your back pocket in no time."

Looky... It's Bat'minton... I'll see myself out."

"OK...what's the quickest way to the hospital?"

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

'The brown one that smells like an old man.'

"Okay, I'll change your diaper, but you better not tell any of my patients."

'Good one Dad. Imagine your catch if you had bought us REAl fishing gear.'

"Have you seen my wife?"

Child on a schedule.

'Dad, I need help with chemistry, what's the periodic table?'

"Typical! - The Frobishers' have fire and the wheel..."

'In this rare photo of President Bush standing beside former President Clinton, one can't help but notice how the weight of office has grayed their hair.'

"How long before I have a dad body?"

'It never fails. Two pizzas exhaust Dad as much as a 10 mile run exhausts me.'

Vasectomy Clinic: Convert to Unleaded Here

"Someday you'll understand the ways of the world...with the exception of tax and health insurance forms."

"Yo, Greg!" "Hey, Warren!"

'I can't talk now Kevin. I'm under house arrest.'

"'No bones about it?' What? Oh, right. I get it. Ha."

Cocktail Franks

Vulgar-free Beaver

"Stickers, fairy tattoos, a coloring book ... but no, Mom, I'm not seeing any stretch-mark cream in the goody bag."

"I hope you've got planning permission for that?"

A man outside of gents toilet sees sign: New Men - With Baby changing facilities.