Parenting Irony Gifts

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

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:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"Use your inside scream."

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

Businessman with briefcase pushes stroller with baby and its briefcase.

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

"She's a natural!"

Children should be seen and not a herd.

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

The Mothership

"Yeah, he's very like his father isn't he?"

Billy strip: help with homework.

"You're getting a nanny. We decided to outsource our parenting"

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

"I didn't think you'd still be here at thirty."

'Mom, I need a push.'

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

"I love to hear the pitter-patter-patter...patter of his tiny feet."

Aliens from the planet of the yellow snow. 'Don't eat the white snow.'

Playing in the park....child on a leash.

'You've kept your shoes and socks on. I washed my feet yesterday.'

'My daddy thinks you're really funny. He's always telling mommy about the clown he works for!'