Introverted Diner Gifts

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'How is the water prepared?'

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'I'm sorry the cod was not as good as when you came a month ago. It should have been - it was the same fish...'

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

'I'm not very hungry after eating my first quarter losses.'

"In this YouTube tutorial, I'm going to show you how to be alone with yourself."

'As long as I stand here I'm safe. . . no stress. . . no pressure. . . no need to impress. . . I can just relax and be who I am. . .'

'Too much information! I prefer not knowing my lobster's name was Sigmund.'

I recommend the ketchup.

Diners sit in high chairs, wear bibs and eat baby food. Man says: 'I love this place, it's just so retro.'

"Freshly ground Ozempic?"

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

'Make up your mind, M'sieur — a hundred years from now, what difference will it make what you had for lunch today?'

'You don't need a menu here, mate. If you can't see it on my apron, we don't sell it.'

'Do you have anything that's not fried?'

Customer admires courtyard of bagel shaped restaurant.

'Mutter mutter...I was talking to my broccoli.'

Today's special: Roadkill stew.

The food was nice...but something was missing.

"Yes sir, this is half a steak. The guest who had it yesterday wasn't very hungry."

'The chef says that the quail was out but he prepared that little critter he ran over on the motorway which tastes similar and you nouveau riche snobs will never notice the difference anyway.'

'Come on, make it snappy I haven't got all day,'

'One slice of toast and a bottle of ketchup, please.'

"The service here is terrible."

'It's half as good as our $10 special.'

"We've got 749 cookbooks...why are we eating cheese on toast?"

Eat at Joe's Topless Diner.

'Boil in the bag or microwaved?'