Restless Diner Gifts

"The service here is terrible."

Diner.

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"How's everything here? Let's start with your earliest childhood memories."

"Would you like to see the markup?"

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

We've been dating for about 30 minutes, so things are still going well. Please send over the waiter immediately, before everything goes down the toilet. Menu.

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

"Never mind the vintage, we just want to get pissed."

Diners sit in high chairs, wear bibs and eat baby food. Man says: 'I love this place, it's just so retro.'

I recommend the ketchup.

"I quit worrying. I've gone 100% non-non and completely free-free."

'Make up your mind, M'sieur — a hundred years from now, what difference will it make what you had for lunch today?'

"His wife's still visiting her mother, so it looks like it's left over pizza for us...again!"

'Mutter mutter...I was talking to my broccoli.'

In a coal miner diner, customers have fainted from the fumes.

Customer admires courtyard of bagel shaped restaurant.

Today's special: Roadkill stew.

'Not only is smoking permitted, we insist on it!'

'Come on, make it snappy I haven't got all day,'

'One slice of toast and a bottle of ketchup, please.'

'We serve comfort food in a laid back atmosphere, so lower your expectations, be prepared to wait, and I'll be back for your order unless I go home.'

"Sorry, I refuse to eat anything that has a face."

Monster eating furniture,

Robot Diner. I'll have the blackberries and cream.

"Soup of the day."

Eat at Joe's Topless Diner.

'Separate cheques?'

'Excuse me sir, have you found and contact lenses in your soup?'

Sign reads: 'K's Diner Voted Best Restaurant in Town!!'

'The food's pretty bad here, but we make up for it with especially large portions.'