Introverted Diner Prints

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'How is the water prepared?'

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'I'm sorry the cod was not as good as when you came a month ago. It should have been - it was the same fish...'

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

'Too much information! I prefer not knowing my lobster's name was Sigmund.'

"In this YouTube tutorial, I'm going to show you how to be alone with yourself."

We've been dating for about 30 minutes, so things are still going well. Please send over the waiter immediately, before everything goes down the toilet. Menu.

'As long as I stand here I'm safe. . . no stress. . . no pressure. . . no need to impress. . . I can just relax and be who I am. . .'

'I'm not very hungry after eating my first quarter losses.'

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

'Make up your mind, M'sieur — a hundred years from now, what difference will it make what you had for lunch today?'

Diners sit in high chairs, wear bibs and eat baby food. Man says: 'I love this place, it's just so retro.'

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

I recommend the ketchup.

"Freshly ground Ozempic?"

'You don't need a menu here, mate. If you can't see it on my apron, we don't sell it.'

"Yes sir, this is half a steak. The guest who had it yesterday wasn't very hungry."

Today's special: Roadkill stew.

'Do you have anything that's not fried?'

Customer admires courtyard of bagel shaped restaurant.

'Mutter mutter...I was talking to my broccoli.'

'The chef says that the quail was out but he prepared that little critter he ran over on the motorway which tastes similar and you nouveau riche snobs will never notice the difference anyway.'

The food was nice...but something was missing.

'Come on, make it snappy I haven't got all day,'

'One slice of toast and a bottle of ketchup, please.'

'It's half as good as our $10 special.'

"The service here is terrible."

'Boil in the bag or microwaved?'

"We've got 749 cookbooks...why are we eating cheese on toast?"