Injury Prone Individuals Gifts

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

First aid in mountains

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

Gary turns 40.

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

"You run into a window, too?"

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"Car accident? No, I volunteered to hold the rope for the pinata at my son's birthday party!"

Rollerblader wears a cast and has wheels on crutches

'I know just how you feel.'

Sporting maladies.

"I see you do all your own stunts."

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

'You've got a broken finger.'

"...Bug bites, barbecue and lawn mower...and you?"

'Quick! Contact my doctor!'

'Very funny!'

"You've been traded to the Red Sox for an outfielder with a broken arm."

'I think this fishing injury is more serious than you're letting on!'

'Bloody plaster of Paris.'

Broken ankle.

'I like your spirit - nine out of ten people would admit roller-disco wasn't for them!'

"I sprained it trying to open my medicine."

'It's an old badminton injury.'

Just Do It. Just Did It.

'No broken bones. You're lucky, looks like the tree helped break your fall.'

Rugby player searches on line for 'front teeth'.

I've got sharp pains in my ribs after playing sports.... - 'It's porbably muscular... just take pain killers.' - 'Could it be a cracked rib though?' - 'Possibly.' - 'What would I do if it was a cracked rib?' - 'Take more painkillers.' -

'It's an old baseball injury.'

'I'll soon have you in stitches but it's no laughing matter.'

'Watch out, you'll get tennis elbow.'

You're in luck! I'm the doctor who'll be patching you up after the match.

The Old Good Cop/Bad Cop Routine.