Injury Prone Pal Gifts

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'That was fun!'

"It get it – you're hungry."

First aid in mountains

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

"Car accident? No, I volunteered to hold the rope for the pinata at my son's birthday party!"

"I need to go home now! I'm all out of pee!"

Accident-Prone Support Group.

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

"...Bug bites, barbecue and lawn mower...and you?"

"In case you hadn't noticed, this is a multiple cat home!"

'Oh no we couldn't...We've known one another too long' Then they kiss and laugh

"I don't feel so much endangered as I do under funded."

"I sprained it trying to open my medicine."

'It's an old badminton injury.'

"Aw, he's really attached to you."

Just Do It. Just Did It.

'No broken bones. You're lucky, looks like the tree helped break your fall.'

Rugby player searches on line for 'front teeth'.

I've got sharp pains in my ribs after playing sports.... - 'It's porbably muscular... just take pain killers.' - 'Could it be a cracked rib though?' - 'Possibly.' - 'What would I do if it was a cracked rib?' - 'Take more painkillers.' -

You're in luck! I'm the doctor who'll be patching you up after the match.

"Just a heads-up... when you count calories, high score doesn't win."ories/high score

...thirty-nine years young, recent divorcee, lifestyle includes a canine leitmotif....

'Nobody will see it in the sauna. Besides, how bad can your birthmark actually be?'

"I raced a train to the level crossing. It was a tie."

"And God, if it isn't too much trouble, please clean the printhead."

'For cryin' out loud. All I said was I thought I heard a noise outside last night!'

"Sorry I didn't return your calls of earlier today."

"As always. . . make sure to warm up . . . to avoid injury. . ."

'He's got tennis viewer's elbow'

'It doesn't look good, coach. He was sitting down after cheering a base hit and got a sliver - a big one... He might be lost for the rest of the season.'

Love.

Broken ankle? Blown out knee? Compound fracture? No problem! Get back on the court in a jiff with the amazing new Roller Brace!

'The alarm didn't go off, my car wouldn't start, missed the bus, my back's aching, haven't had a raise in two years ...'

'You poor dumb animal, all you know is eat and sleep.'