Injury-prone Athlete Gifts

'Trust me, Harold. I'm getting better every day. I can do this. You're not still angry about yesterday, are you, Harold?'

'It's an old badminton injury.'

"As always. . . make sure to warm up . . . to avoid injury. . ."

I like the Jets...I guess

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

First aid in mountains

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

Ted's Brilliant Rugby Career Was Plagued By Nagging Injuries,

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

'It's too early to say but my lad may be good enough to swim professionally.'

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

"Car accident? No, I volunteered to hold the rope for the pinata at my son's birthday party!"

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Rollerblader wears a cast and has wheels on crutches

"I hope your cast is not itchy, Stacy. I had an itchy cast on my arm once and it itched ALL the time. It felt like crawling ants! Itchy, itchy, itchy..."

"After they've had hell beaten out of them they'll enjoy playing in Heaven."

'My knee's in rehab. This one's a loaner.'

"...Bug bites, barbecue and lawn mower...and you?"

STRIP Golfer turned Javelin thrower

"There's more to basketball than winning. There's also telling China to back off in Hong Kong."

Rower Bobby Pearce stops mid-race to let some ducks cross his path safely

'Bad news. Your arm is too injured to hold up those sneakers you endorse on TV.'

'...Splints. Tape. Ice pack. Bandages....Wait! Here it is - spare brain.'

The rotator cuff fairy.

"Oh, Julius, look! It's the first robin!"

'Don't worry, Kyle. You're gonna be ok. The athletic trainer will tape you up and get you back on the field in no time.'

'I'm taking you off of chattering in the outfield.'

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

'Uh-oh. They're bringing in the closer to secure the win.'

'The knee brace I prescribed, you put on over your head.'

"I don't know where his dip in form came from."

"I sprained it trying to open my medicine."