Injury-prone Athlete Gifts

'Trust me, Harold. I'm getting better every day. I can do this. You're not still angry about yesterday, are you, Harold?'

'It's an old badminton injury.'

"As always. . . make sure to warm up . . . to avoid injury. . ."

I like the Jets...I guess

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

First aid in mountains

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

Ted's Brilliant Rugby Career Was Plagued By Nagging Injuries,

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

"Yes! I hit a triple. Woo-hoo."

'It's too early to say but my lad may be good enough to swim professionally.'

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"Car accident? No, I volunteered to hold the rope for the pinata at my son's birthday party!"

Rollerblader wears a cast and has wheels on crutches

I think it's time to retire from boxing. I'm too old for life in the fist lane.

"I hope your cast is not itchy, Stacy. I had an itchy cast on my arm once and it itched ALL the time. It felt like crawling ants! Itchy, itchy, itchy..."

"After they've had hell beaten out of them they'll enjoy playing in Heaven."

Rowing - Eights / After Eights.

"...Bug bites, barbecue and lawn mower...and you?"

'My knee's in rehab. This one's a loaner.'

STRIP Golfer turned Javelin thrower

Rower Bobby Pearce stops mid-race to let some ducks cross his path safely

Just as he was about to be annihilated, Dirk makes an amazing discovery,

"There's more to basketball than winning. There's also telling China to back off in Hong Kong."

'Bad news. Your arm is too injured to hold up those sneakers you endorse on TV.'

'...Splints. Tape. Ice pack. Bandages....Wait! Here it is - spare brain.'

The rotator cuff fairy.

"Oh, Julius, look! It's the first robin!"

'Don't worry, Kyle. You're gonna be ok. The athletic trainer will tape you up and get you back on the field in no time.'

'Uh-oh. They're bringing in the closer to secure the win.'

'The knee brace I prescribed, you put on over your head.'

TV Junkie Ernie at the Olympics. Rio 2016. A cyclist didn't slow down for the curve and crashed! "Ohh ... 'Braking Bad"! The track star from the United States is resting up for his big race. "American Idle"! That group of athletes over there is being investigated for cheating. "The Shady Bunch." The javelin event is a simple contest. Whoever hurled it the futthest is declared the winner. "Game of Throwns"!

'I'm taking you off of chattering in the outfield.'

"I sprained it trying to open my medicine."