Sports Injury Gifts

'Good news. We've decided to give you the game ball.'

'You're getting too old for this game, Scott. ... They say the legs are the first to go.'

Ted's Brilliant Rugby Career Was Plagued By Nagging Injuries,

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

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A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

'I know just how you feel.'

"After they've had hell beaten out of them they'll enjoy playing in Heaven."

'Turn your head and cough.'

'Ok, there's some duct tape. Are you happy now, Mr. Prima Donna?...'

'My knee's in rehab. This one's a loaner.'

'Bad news. Your arm is too injured to hold up those sneakers you endorse on TV.'

"How'd it happen?

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

'...Splints. Tape. Ice pack. Bandages....Wait! Here it is - spare brain.'

The rotator cuff fairy.

'Don't worry, Kyle. You're gonna be ok. The athletic trainer will tape you up and get you back on the field in no time.'

"I don't know where his dip in form came from."

"I understand you were involved in a golf mishap this morning!"

Hockey cheerleaders.

'It's an old badminton injury.'

'The knee brace I prescribed, you put on over your head.'

"Well, yeah, Doc, I twisted my back a little...but it was the longest golf shot I've ever made!"

Rugby player searches on line for 'front teeth'.

'I can't let him back in to play. He couldn't tell me what he's making this year.'

'Yeah - baseball, football and hockey...got concussions in all of them.'

The woodpeckers are just sitting there. That's the new concussion protocol.

'... but you've gotta admire him for at least trying to come back after an injury of that magnitude.'

'You're going to have to find a way of avoiding those fast serves!'

'I don't think it's a concussion . . . although the smoke has me concerned.'

'We managed to get to the Tennis Elbow before it spread to your balls!'

"Is it too late to buy a policy?2

'You think you've got a bad knee? Let me tell you about a bad knee, my brother.'

'The swelling well receed in a few days and the racket should slide right off.'

"I'd feel more comfortable if you'd use diplomacy."