Sports Injury Expert Gifts

'Will he be right for Saturday, Doc?'

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

Ted's Brilliant Rugby Career Was Plagued By Nagging Injuries,

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

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A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

Team medic spraying deodorant

"After they've had hell beaten out of them they'll enjoy playing in Heaven."

Miracles of modern sports medicine: the Nerdectomy.

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

Sports Medicine.

'My knee's in rehab. This one's a loaner.'

'Turn your head and cough.'

'Bad news. Your arm is too injured to hold up those sneakers you endorse on TV.'

'Please open your mouth and say '68, 56, 87, ..'

'Really? -- the official steroid of the 2012 Olympics?'

'Bloody plaster of Paris.'

"Son, I’d say the ACL tear is the least of your problems."

'He's our team doctor, athletic trainer, chiropractor and psychiatrist all rolled in one.'

"Good news, I found a doctor who says you can still play"

'...Splints. Tape. Ice pack. Bandages....Wait! Here it is - spare brain.'

"Repetitive strain injury?...theres a lot of it about."

The rotator cuff fairy.

'Don't worry, Kyle. You're gonna be ok. The athletic trainer will tape you up and get you back on the field in no time.'

'I think he's got another inning left in him... clear!'

Weak Research

'The knee brace I prescribed, you put on over your head.'

'It's an old badminton injury.'

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

'Look up... Look down... Look at my thumb. Gee, You're...'

"Well sports medicine isn't my speciality.. but at a guess I think you need to work more on your legs."

"Well, yeah, Doc, I twisted my back a little...but it was the longest golf shot I've ever made!"

Rugby player searches on line for 'front teeth'.

'You're getting too old for this game, Scott. ... They say the legs are the first to go.'

'I can't let him back in to play. He couldn't tell me what he's making this year.'