Injury Expert Gifts

"Repetitive strain injury?...theres a lot of it about."

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

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"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

Man who hits finger and screams for help has his mouth bound up instead of his finger by unsympathetic wife.

"You've been traded to the Red Sox for an outfielder with a broken arm."

'Very funny!'

'I think this fishing injury is more serious than you're letting on!'

'Looks like I might have to rethink the football idea!'

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

'He tripped over a pavement sign that said 'Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault?' So he called the number and sued them'

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

"I sprained it trying to open my medicine."

"...And your underpants were unusually clean for someone who got hit by a bus."

"Breathe, darn it, breathe!"

Crashed saucer, man running, vanity license plate reads 'AXDNTLAW'

"I failed driver's ed....Apparently there's like this rule about rear-ending a police car!"

Please pardon the inconvenience while we remodel.

'Remember his weakness is a pulled tendon, so keep it as high as your bursitis will let you, but take it easy with your fast ball because of my bone chips.'

'So, Bill! What do you think my chances are of moving into supervisory position?'

"Where does it hurt?"

Now do you see the point of regular electrical checks?

"Don't high five the lion again."

If injury lawyers said what they really mean.

Brains on the field.

'I suggest you refrain from reaching into your untamed bird's cage in the future.'

"I don't know - the EPA was here when I left last night."

'Can't be too safe you know.'