Injury Expert Gifts

"Repetitive strain injury?...theres a lot of it about."

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

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"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

To prevent geese from flying toward its planes, Jupiter Airlines made some key design changes,

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

Man who hits finger and screams for help has his mouth bound up instead of his finger by unsympathetic wife.

"You've been traded to the Red Sox for an outfielder with a broken arm."

'I think this fishing injury is more serious than you're letting on!'

'Very funny!'

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

'Looks like I might have to rethink the football idea!'

'He tripped over a pavement sign that said 'Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault?' So he called the number and sued them'

"Breathe, darn it, breathe!"

"...And your underpants were unusually clean for someone who got hit by a bus."

"I sprained it trying to open my medicine."

Crashed saucer, man running, vanity license plate reads 'AXDNTLAW'

Field hockey injury? A doctor will see you after the football concussion

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

"I failed driver's ed....Apparently there's like this rule about rear-ending a police car!"

Please pardon the inconvenience while we remodel.

'Remember his weakness is a pulled tendon, so keep it as high as your bursitis will let you, but take it easy with your fast ball because of my bone chips.'

'So, Bill! What do you think my chances are of moving into supervisory position?'

This place is crawling with backstabbers, but they don't worry me.

"Where does it hurt?"

Now do you see the point of regular electrical checks?

"I don't think the new guy is built for this kind of work, do you?"

If injury lawyers said what they really mean.

"Don't high five the lion again."

Break it like Beckham

Brains on the field.

'I suggest you refrain from reaching into your untamed bird's cage in the future.'

"I don't know - the EPA was here when I left last night."

Oooh, where'd you get that bruise?