Injury Analyst Gifts

'Looks like I might have to rethink the football idea!'

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

"...And your underpants were unusually clean for someone who got hit by a bus."

'This is looking less and less like leg cramps and more and more like a career-ending injury.'

Break it like Beckham

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

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'Walk upright?. . . But what about banana peels?'

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

"At first I thought it was just coincidence, then I noticed it corresponded perfectly to your shift."

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

Non-Drinkers and Smokers Insurance Policy

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

'Very funny!'

"You've been traded to the Red Sox for an outfielder with a broken arm."

Steve Bannon

'I think this fishing injury is more serious than you're letting on!'

'We've considered every potential risk except the risks of avoiding all risks.'

'Apparently it's not enough to say that 'lots of people think we do a jolly good job' anymore.'

"Repetitive strain injury?...theres a lot of it about."

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

"Let the minutes show we're not taking the pension fund and putting it all on the 2.30 at Newmarket."

"..common sense has prevailed, Michael Owen's agent has let the referee off with just a severe warning."

William Tell's son wears hi-vis jacket and hard hat

Field hockey injury? A doctor will see you after the football concussion

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

'You took out a policy with us Tuesday morning and had a fire Tuesday afternoon...What was the delay?'

"Imagine an accident at 60mph..." "It would be like being hit by a 60 ton elephant."

'I can't understand it. I was driving one way on a one way street.'

Military Recruiters...'Win a free trip to the holy lands'

Fire Sprinkler Manufacturing