Safety Analysts Gifts

"No, no, it was a heart attack. The air bag worked like a charm."

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

Time Out For Teddy

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

Job Safety - Hardhat.

Nuclear waste.

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

"Seriously Dad, it totally wasn't my fault."

Computer Controlled Car

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

The hall of bad ideas.

Is this what they call inherent safety?

Wear a helmet

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."