Transportation Safety Analyst Gifts

No Fly/No Gun

'Are we nearly there yet?'

Computer Controlled Car

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'

Man in car sees fallen sign on the hood of his car which says, CAUTION sign-holding road worker falls asleep.

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

Gas Pedal Sticking?

'The London drive-thru experience.'

"It's time to put up rail fares again. . . What are we thinking?"

'Last year, too many people were killed or injured by automobiles and trucks in the Northwest, many more than were killed or injured by cougars or wolves...'

Self-driving cars are the future?

'That is the bike lane...'

"So it's agreed then. There'll be no third runway, and you'll head the Fourth Runway steering group."

"Suddenly, trying to figure out who to blame for our crumbling infrastructure seems pointless..."

Realistic Timetable

'I'm getting really tired of your friend crashing here every night!'

'I can't understand it. I was driving one way on a one way street.'

"At the first opportunity, make a U-turn."

Fire Sprinkler Manufacturing

Traffic Everywhere

'I guess it's an improvement over the previous 'do-nothing' policy.'

"The latest car safety data is in, and it's still really really bad to crash into things."

"Maybe we're taking the wrong approach to traffic data gathering..."

'No, it only has a driver-side airbag.'

'The HS2 line is going to bring in a lot of work...'

"You know what's about to happen and you still got in the car. But yet I'm called the dummy."

'We've simplified the warning label to 'May result in lawyers'.'

'After being on my site all day, it's nice to see some traffic.'

'Bob, call you back. A big auto body job just drove in.'

Crowd Funding Toll Booth.

'Drivers with very short attention spans this lane only' 'I said THIS lane only!'

"Wow...a new study came out and it says 60% of house fly deaths are from swattings. We may want to consider moving outdoors."

'What's the point of insurance if you don't use it?'