Transportation Safety Analyst Gifts

'Are we nearly there yet?'

Computer Controlled Car

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'

Man in car sees fallen sign on the hood of his car which says, CAUTION sign-holding road worker falls asleep.

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

'The London drive-thru experience.'

'That is the bike lane...'

"It's time to put up rail fares again. . . What are we thinking?"

Self-driving cars are the future?

'Last year, too many people were killed or injured by automobiles and trucks in the Northwest, many more than were killed or injured by cougars or wolves...'

"So it's agreed then. There'll be no third runway, and you'll head the Fourth Runway steering group."

"Suddenly, trying to figure out who to blame for our crumbling infrastructure seems pointless..."

Realistic Timetable

'I can't understand it. I was driving one way on a one way street.'

Fire Sprinkler Manufacturing

'I'm getting really tired of your friend crashing here every night!'

Traffic Everywhere

'I guess it's an improvement over the previous 'do-nothing' policy.'

"At the first opportunity, make a U-turn."

"The latest car safety data is in, and it's still really really bad to crash into things."

"Maybe we're taking the wrong approach to traffic data gathering..."

"You know what's about to happen and you still got in the car. But yet I'm called the dummy."

'The HS2 line is going to bring in a lot of work...'

'We've simplified the warning label to 'May result in lawyers'.'

'No, it only has a driver-side airbag.'

'After being on my site all day, it's nice to see some traffic.'

'Bob, call you back. A big auto body job just drove in.'

Crowd Funding Toll Booth.

'Drivers with very short attention spans this lane only' 'I said THIS lane only!'

"Wow...a new study came out and it says 60% of house fly deaths are from swattings. We may want to consider moving outdoors."

'What's the point of insurance if you don't use it?'

'Oh come on, a little touch up paint and a soft cloth, I can buff that out.'