Automotive Safety Analyst Gifts

"The latest car safety data is in, and it's still really really bad to crash into things."

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"Have you had a stressful experience lately, such as an accident?"

Computer Controlled Car

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

a crash-test dummy is performing some affirmations before going to work

To prevent geese from flying toward its planes, Jupiter Airlines made some key design changes,

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

'I don't like being a crash dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

Gas Pedal Sticking?

'Things are going from bad to worse in the auto industry.'

Alien crash test dummy emerges from downed UFO.

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

Crash Test Dummy Jokes that Get Old Fast. Oh, no! Somebody cut the brakes! Every single time.

Self-driving cars are the future?

'Last year, too many people were killed or injured by automobiles and trucks in the Northwest, many more than were killed or injured by cougars or wolves...'

"I failed driver's ed....Apparently there's like this rule about rear-ending a police car!"

Fire Sprinkler Manufacturing

'I can't understand it. I was driving one way on a one way street.'

'I'm getting really tired of your friend crashing here every night!'

This place is crawling with backstabbers, but they don't worry me.

"At the first opportunity, make a U-turn."

Where airbags should be.

Now do you see the point of regular electrical checks?

"I see your son has a summer job."

"You know what's about to happen and you still got in the car. But yet I'm called the dummy."

Man with Air Bag,"Did you know the earth spins at 1038 mph?"

'His airbag must have over inflated.'

'We've simplified the warning label to 'May result in lawyers'.'

"You're going on a very short journey."

'No, it only has a driver-side airbag.'

'Bob, call you back. A big auto body job just drove in.'