Safety Analysts T-Shirts

"No, no, it was a heart attack. The air bag worked like a charm."

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

Time Out For Teddy

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

Nuclear waste.

Job Safety - Hardhat.

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

"Seriously Dad, it totally wasn't my fault."

Computer Controlled Car

The man in the big yellow hat remedies George's curiosity once and for all,

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

"I've got a wall I need to get to, officer."

Is this what they call inherent safety?

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

Wear a helmet

The hall of bad ideas.

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty