Safety Systems Analyst T-Shirts

The Anti-Agent

The Computer Bore

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

'Now that everyone's street is online, we're mapping interiors.'

Computer Expert

Computer monitor for a head.

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

Hardware and software

Fixing the Computer.

'I think what we need now is someone called a computer programmer.'

'Wouldn't it be cheaper to apologise to the Middle East?'

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

"We'll get there when we get there!"

"Good artists borrow, great artists steal."

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

Time Out For Teddy