Injury Consultant Gifts

"Don't high five the lion again."

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

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The Dangers of National Safety Week.

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

He's got a long painful road to recovery. Those are pretty severe burns. In the meantime, try to keep him upbeat to avoid depression. Then again, we can't exactly have him walking on sunshine either... That's what got him here.

Man who hits finger and screams for help has his mouth bound up instead of his finger by unsympathetic wife.

'Very funny!'

'I think this fishing injury is more serious than you're letting on!'

"You've been traded to the Red Sox for an outfielder with a broken arm."

I think I pulled something.

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

'Looks like I might have to rethink the football idea!'

'He tripped over a pavement sign that said 'Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault?' So he called the number and sued them'

"Repetitive strain injury?...theres a lot of it about."

Work Accidents

Crashed saucer, man running, vanity license plate reads 'AXDNTLAW'

"I sprained it trying to open my medicine."

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

"...And your underpants were unusually clean for someone who got hit by a bus."

Field hockey injury? A doctor will see you after the football concussion

"We're seeing a lot of these Dancing with the Stars type injuries at the moment."

Man putting up accident prevention sign falls off ladder.

Please pardon the inconvenience while we remodel.

'Remember his weakness is a pulled tendon, so keep it as high as your bursitis will let you, but take it easy with your fast ball because of my bone chips.'

'-and remember,under any circumstances, NO extra time!'

"...and the action figures will have concussions, they'll be on stretchers and wheelchairs..."

'Now look what you've done!! You've aggravated my CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME!!'

'He's got bad knees, so the league had to make an exception for him.'

If injury lawyers said what they really mean.

Break it like Beckham

"All cartoons must now conform to Health and Safety regulations. . ."

'I got distracted and let go...'