Injury Care Gifts

"I sprained it trying to open my medicine."

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

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Big slipper.

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

'I know just how you feel.'

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

Man who hits finger and screams for help has his mouth bound up instead of his finger by unsympathetic wife.

'Very funny!'

'I think this fishing injury is more serious than you're letting on!'

"You've been traded to the Red Sox for an outfielder with a broken arm."

'You're very tense today.'

'Looks like I might have to rethink the football idea!'

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

"Repetitive strain injury?...theres a lot of it about."

'He tripped over a pavement sign that said 'Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault?' So he called the number and sued them'

'He's a true athlete... tennis elbow, jogger's feet, and skier's knees.'

"Bad boys don't die. They just ride in to the sunset!"

"...And your underpants were unusually clean for someone who got hit by a bus."

'So we meet again...'

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

Crashed saucer, man running, vanity license plate reads 'AXDNTLAW'

Please pardon the inconvenience while we remodel.

"Harry... Looking good buddy!"

'... but you've gotta admire him for at least trying to come back after an injury of that magnitude.'

"I'll take it off if you promise not to pick at the stitches."

"So, what can I do for you?"

'These things take time, Mr. Bagley.'

If injury lawyers said what they really mean.

"Don't high five the lion again."