Injury Care Gifts

"I sprained it trying to open my medicine."

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

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Big slipper.

"I can't stop licking my boo-boo."

'I know just how you feel.'

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

Man who hits finger and screams for help has his mouth bound up instead of his finger by unsympathetic wife.

"You've been traded to the Red Sox for an outfielder with a broken arm."

'Very funny!'

'I think this fishing injury is more serious than you're letting on!'

'You're very tense today.'

'Looks like I might have to rethink the football idea!'

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

'He tripped over a pavement sign that said 'Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault?' So he called the number and sued them'

"Repetitive strain injury?...theres a lot of it about."

'He's a true athlete... tennis elbow, jogger's feet, and skier's knees.'

"Bad boys don't die. They just ride in to the sunset!"

"...And your underpants were unusually clean for someone who got hit by a bus."

'So we meet again...'

Crashed saucer, man running, vanity license plate reads 'AXDNTLAW'

Field hockey injury? A doctor will see you after the football concussion

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

Please pardon the inconvenience while we remodel.

"Harry... Looking good buddy!"

'... but you've gotta admire him for at least trying to come back after an injury of that magnitude.'

"I'll take it off if you promise not to pick at the stitches."

"So, what can I do for you?"

'These things take time, Mr. Bagley.'

Break it like Beckham

If injury lawyers said what they really mean.