Injury Gifts

'I told you, you need to be more assertive...'

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

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"Does it hurt when I do this?"

'I know just how you feel.'

'I think your son is being bullied. He's suffering 80% Chinese wrist burns.'

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

"...Bug bites, barbecue and lawn mower...and you?"

"You've been traded to the Red Sox for an outfielder with a broken arm."

'Very funny!'

'I think this fishing injury is more serious than you're letting on!'

"Repetitive strain injury?...theres a lot of it about."

'He tripped over a pavement sign that said 'Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault?' So he called the number and sued them'

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

Man on treadmill with one leg in a cast.

"I sprained it trying to open my medicine."

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

Field hockey injury? A doctor will see you after the football concussion

'It's an old work injury.'

Crashed saucer, man running, vanity license plate reads 'AXDNTLAW'

'It's an old badminton injury.'

Just Do It. Just Did It.

Please pardon the inconvenience while we remodel.

'You're getting too old for this game, Scott. ... They say the legs are the first to go.'

I've got sharp pains in my ribs after playing sports.... - 'It's porbably muscular... just take pain killers.' - 'Could it be a cracked rib though?' - 'Possibly.' - 'What would I do if it was a cracked rib?' - 'Take more painkillers.' -

You're in luck! I'm the doctor who'll be patching you up after the match.

"I raced a train to the level crossing. It was a tie."

'Good news. We've decided to give you the game ball.'

When can you get rid of the crutches? Doctor says now, lawyer says not yet.

"Is it too late to buy a policy?2

Football taunting man with a broken leg.

"Your birthday came at just the right time. I sprained my ankle this morning."

If injury lawyers said what they really mean.