Injury Management Gifts

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

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"Just badly sprained thank goodness... I was so scared it might be broken..."

"Any improvement since I brought the balloon?"

"Your blood pressure is too high. Take two of these."

'You're allergic to feathers.'

'I know just how you feel.'

"I hope your cast is not itchy, Stacy. I had an itchy cast on my arm once and it itched ALL the time. It felt like crawling ants! Itchy, itchy, itchy..."

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

He's got a long painful road to recovery. Those are pretty severe burns. In the meantime, try to keep him upbeat to avoid depression. Then again, we can't exactly have him walking on sunshine either... That's what got him here.

Man who hits finger and screams for help has his mouth bound up instead of his finger by unsympathetic wife.

"You've become very predictable, Jack - home every night!"

"The good news is the frustration of filling out all this paperwork will keep your mind off your pain."

'Very funny!'

"You've been traded to the Red Sox for an outfielder with a broken arm."

'I think this fishing injury is more serious than you're letting on!'

"Can you send me a detailed list of knee exercises I could do at home but won't because I have no discipline."

"Instead of days, my pill organizer is divided into months."

"It's an adjustment being a handshake guy in a fist-bump company."

'Looks like I might have to rethink the football idea!'

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

'He tripped over a pavement sign that said 'Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault?' So he called the number and sued them'

"Repetitive strain injury?...theres a lot of it about."

'I'm saying I want to share your pain you selfish bastard.'

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

"...And your underpants were unusually clean for someone who got hit by a bus."

"I sprained it trying to open my medicine."

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'