Injury Prevention Gifts

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

'We don't want to risk having any injuries during spring training.'

"Just badly sprained thank goodness... I was so scared it might be broken..."

'I know just how you feel.'

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

"This feels so familiar."

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

'It's an old work injury.'

Man who hits finger and screams for help has his mouth bound up instead of his finger by unsympathetic wife.

"...Bug bites, barbecue and lawn mower...and you?"

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

I think I pulled something.

"We're seeing a lot of these Dancing with the Stars type injuries at the moment."

Hockey cheerleaders.

"I sprained it trying to open my medicine."

"Each time someone enters this house, they'll be doused in antibacterial soap. It's just during the flu season."

Just Do It. Just Did It.

'Wow, that's the worst case of tennis elbow I've seen this year!'

I've got sharp pains in my ribs after playing sports.... - 'It's porbably muscular... just take pain killers.' - 'Could it be a cracked rib though?' - 'Possibly.' - 'What would I do if it was a cracked rib?' - 'Take more painkillers.' -

'Remember his weakness is a pulled tendon, so keep it as high as your bursitis will let you, but take it easy with your fast ball because of my bone chips.'

'Watch out, you'll get tennis elbow.'

'-and remember,under any circumstances, NO extra time!'

You're in luck! I'm the doctor who'll be patching you up after the match.

'Any worldly advice?' 'Yep. Don't get up too quickly.'

"I raced a train to the level crossing. It was a tie."

The woodpeckers are just sitting there. That's the new concussion protocol.

'He's accident prone... he just poked himself in the eye with his safety-glasses!'

'Now look what you've done!! You've aggravated my CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME!!'

People for the ethical treatment of athletes.

Football League - Concussions R Us.

Football League: Concussions R US.

'He's got bad knees, so the league had to make an exception for him.'