Injury Prevention Expert Gifts

Brains on the field.

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'We don't want to risk having any injuries during spring training.'

"Just badly sprained thank goodness... I was so scared it might be broken..."

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

To prevent geese from flying toward its planes, Jupiter Airlines made some key design changes,

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

Man who hits finger and screams for help has his mouth bound up instead of his finger by unsympathetic wife.

I think I pulled something.

"Repetitive strain injury?...theres a lot of it about."

"We're seeing a lot of these Dancing with the Stars type injuries at the moment."

"I failed driver's ed....Apparently there's like this rule about rear-ending a police car!"

'Remember his weakness is a pulled tendon, so keep it as high as your bursitis will let you, but take it easy with your fast ball because of my bone chips.'

'Wow, that's the worst case of tennis elbow I've seen this year!'

'-and remember,under any circumstances, NO extra time!'

'So, Bill! What do you think my chances are of moving into supervisory position?'

'Watch out, you'll get tennis elbow.'

This place is crawling with backstabbers, but they don't worry me.

'He's accident prone... he just poked himself in the eye with his safety-glasses!'

"There's no way I would ever let my boys play football...it's just too dangerous....!"

Now do you see the point of regular electrical checks?

People for the ethical treatment of athletes.

'Now look what you've done!! You've aggravated my CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME!!'

"I don't think the new guy is built for this kind of work, do you?"

Golf course

"Don't high five the lion again."

"It's stuck in overdrive. What should I do?"

'He's got bad knees, so the league had to make an exception for him.'

"I'd feel more comfortable if you'd use diplomacy."

Next time youwant to demonstrate Ronaldo's flying overhead kick to your nephew...use a pen and paper!

Football League: Concussions R US.

'No, Jerome, that is incorrect... can anyone else demonstrate the proper way to tape a basketball player's ankle?'

Football Brain Injuries

Caution: slippery surface.