Injury Preventer Gifts

"Just badly sprained thank goodness... I was so scared it might be broken..."

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

'We don't want to risk having any injuries during spring training.'

The oil trap.

Penguin lost his appetite because of contaminated fish.

Vaccine shortage in Europe

"This feels so familiar."

Pick one: ounce of prevention or pound of cure.

'What can I say, Carol... I'm whelmed.'

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

'It's an old work injury.'

UK sewage dumps

'Where'd he go, nurse?'

Man who hits finger and screams for help has his mouth bound up instead of his finger by unsympathetic wife.

I think I pulled something.

'Only one side effect - colossal pain...'

"We're seeing a lot of these Dancing with the Stars type injuries at the moment."

Ecology

"Each time someone enters this house, they'll be doused in antibacterial soap. It's just during the flu season."

'Is your house baby-proofed?'

'Remember his weakness is a pulled tendon, so keep it as high as your bursitis will let you, but take it easy with your fast ball because of my bone chips.'

'Wow, that's the worst case of tennis elbow I've seen this year!'

'Watch out, you'll get tennis elbow.'

'-and remember,under any circumstances, NO extra time!'

'Any worldly advice?' 'Yep. Don't get up too quickly.'

'Now look what you've done!! You've aggravated my CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME!!'

People for the ethical treatment of athletes.

'Careful, it might be a trap...'

Next time youwant to demonstrate Ronaldo's flying overhead kick to your nephew...use a pen and paper!

Attacking COVID

'He's got bad knees, so the league had to make an exception for him.'

"Listen, you're perfectly safe - it's only a slight cold."