Accident-prone Pal Gifts

I feel your pain. (Bus stops on man's foot).

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Beware of Falling Notice.

"You run into a window, too?"

First aid departments

'This is your lucky day!'

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

'I know just how you feel.'

Accident-Prone Support Group.

'While I'm here, Doctor . . .'

'Quick! Contact my doctor!'

"If it's any consolation, the video went viral."

Broken ankle.

'Oops! Maybe I should've put this sign out a little earlier.'

Medical insurance reminder

Attack of footballs.

'He's so unlucky that he gets into accidents that started happening to someone else.'

Water Ski Accident

'Tell me you feel bad about it. The least you can do is feel bad about it.'

Mulligan's first mulligan.

'For cryin' out loud. All I said was I thought I heard a noise outside last night!'

'Nobody will see it in the sauna. Besides, how bad can your birthmark actually be?'

"I mistakenly stood in the doorway when kids sunday school released."

'Sidney's such a klutz. He broke his leg in three places -- Boston, Akron and Salt Lake City.'

Murphy and his brother 'sod' at work on their now famous law.

"Sorry I didn't return your calls of earlier today."

'Guess what? I'm going to be on 'World's Worst Drivers'!'

Life on Earth - dog bandage.

"Oh, that's Mr Norris. He's our risk analyst."

Broken ankle? Blown out knee? Compound fracture? No problem! Get back on the court in a jiff with the amazing new Roller Brace!

'The alarm didn't go off, my car wouldn't start, missed the bus, my back's aching, haven't had a raise in two years ...'

'Gardening mishap-the window boxes fell on him!'

'You wrecked ANOTHER snowmobile?'