Accident-prone Pal Pillows

I feel your pain. (Bus stops on man's foot).

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

Beware of Falling Notice.

"You run into a window, too?"

First aid departments

'This is your lucky day!'

'I know just how you feel.'

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

'Quick! Contact my doctor!'

'While I'm here, Doctor . . .'

"If it's any consolation, the video went viral."

Broken ankle.

'Oops! Maybe I should've put this sign out a little earlier.'

Water Ski Accident

"I mistakenly stood in the doorway when kids sunday school released."

Mulligan's first mulligan.

Attack of footballs.

'Tell me you feel bad about it. The least you can do is feel bad about it.'

Medical insurance reminder

'Nobody will see it in the sauna. Besides, how bad can your birthmark actually be?'

'He's so unlucky that he gets into accidents that started happening to someone else.'

'Sidney's such a klutz. He broke his leg in three places -- Boston, Akron and Salt Lake City.'

Murphy and his brother 'sod' at work on their now famous law.

"Oh, that's Mr Norris. He's our risk analyst."

"Sorry I didn't return your calls of earlier today."

Life on Earth - dog bandage.

Broken ankle? Blown out knee? Compound fracture? No problem! Get back on the court in a jiff with the amazing new Roller Brace!

'The alarm didn't go off, my car wouldn't start, missed the bus, my back's aching, haven't had a raise in two years ...'

'I kept my head down like the pro suggested and a golf cart ran over me.'

'Gardening mishap-the window boxes fell on him!'

'He does it every year - we call it his winter break.'