Ironically Accident-prone Pillows

"Oh, that's Mr Norris. He's our risk analyst."

Beware of Falling Notice.

"You run into a window, too?"

Rollerblader wears a cast and has wheels on crutches

"274 meters of bandage - It looks as though you're going to make the Guiness Book of Records, Mr Henderson!"

First aid departments

'This is your lucky day!'

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

'I know just how you feel.'

"...Bug bites, barbecue and lawn mower...and you?"

'While I'm here, Doctor . . .'

"If it's any consolation, the video went viral."

'Quick! Contact my doctor!'

Broken ankle.

"I sprained it trying to open my medicine."

'Oops! Maybe I should've put this sign out a little earlier.'

Just Do It. Just Did It.

I've got sharp pains in my ribs after playing sports.... - 'It's porbably muscular... just take pain killers.' - 'Could it be a cracked rib though?' - 'Possibly.' - 'What would I do if it was a cracked rib?' - 'Take more painkillers.' -

The Old Good Cop/Bad Cop Routine.

You're in luck! I'm the doctor who'll be patching you up after the match.

Water Ski Accident

"I mistakenly stood in the doorway when kids sunday school released."

'He's so unlucky that he gets into accidents that started happening to someone else.'

Mulligan's first mulligan.

Wife to doctor about husband: 'It was a freak accident. He was doing some work on the house.'

Medical insurance reminder

"I raced a train to the level crossing. It was a tie."

Attack of footballs.

'Sidney's such a klutz. He broke his leg in three places -- Boston, Akron and Salt Lake City.'

Murphy and his brother 'sod' at work on their now famous law.

"Sorry I didn't return your calls of earlier today."

Life on Earth - dog bandage.

'Gardening mishap-the window boxes fell on him!'

'You wrecked ANOTHER snowmobile?'