Ironically Accident-prone Gifts

"Oh, that's Mr Norris. He's our risk analyst."

Beware of Falling Notice.

"You run into a window, too?"

Rollerblader wears a cast and has wheels on crutches

"274 meters of bandage - It looks as though you're going to make the Guiness Book of Records, Mr Henderson!"

First aid departments

'This is your lucky day!'

Accident-Prone Support Group.

'I know just how you feel.'

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

"...Bug bites, barbecue and lawn mower...and you?"

'While I'm here, Doctor . . .'

'Quick! Contact my doctor!'

"If it's any consolation, the video went viral."

Broken ankle.

'Oops! Maybe I should've put this sign out a little earlier.'

"I sprained it trying to open my medicine."

Just Do It. Just Did It.

I've got sharp pains in my ribs after playing sports.... - 'It's porbably muscular... just take pain killers.' - 'Could it be a cracked rib though?' - 'Possibly.' - 'What would I do if it was a cracked rib?' - 'Take more painkillers.' -

The Old Good Cop/Bad Cop Routine.

You're in luck! I'm the doctor who'll be patching you up after the match.

"I mistakenly stood in the doorway when kids sunday school released."

Wife to doctor about husband: 'It was a freak accident. He was doing some work on the house.'

Attack of footballs.

'He's so unlucky that he gets into accidents that started happening to someone else.'

Water Ski Accident

Medical insurance reminder

"I raced a train to the level crossing. It was a tie."

Mulligan's first mulligan.

'Sidney's such a klutz. He broke his leg in three places -- Boston, Akron and Salt Lake City.'

Murphy and his brother 'sod' at work on their now famous law.

"Sorry I didn't return your calls of earlier today."

Life on Earth - dog bandage.

'Guess what? I'm going to be on 'World's Worst Drivers'!'

'Gardening mishap-the window boxes fell on him!'