Accident-prone Person Gifts

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Beware of Falling Notice.

"You run into a window, too?"

Rollerblader wears a cast and has wheels on crutches

First aid departments

'This is your lucky day!'

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

Accident-Prone Support Group.

'I know just how you feel.'

"...Bug bites, barbecue and lawn mower...and you?"

'The car has power steering... but the driver doesn't!'

'While I'm here, Doctor . . .'

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

'Quick! Contact my doctor!'

"If it's any consolation, the video went viral."

Broken ankle.

"I sprained it trying to open my medicine."

'Oops! Maybe I should've put this sign out a little earlier.'

"...And your underpants were unusually clean for someone who got hit by a bus."

Just Do It. Just Did It.

I've got sharp pains in my ribs after playing sports.... - 'It's porbably muscular... just take pain killers.' - 'Could it be a cracked rib though?' - 'Possibly.' - 'What would I do if it was a cracked rib?' - 'Take more painkillers.' -

The Old Good Cop/Bad Cop Routine.

You're in luck! I'm the doctor who'll be patching you up after the match.

Wife to doctor about husband: 'It was a freak accident. He was doing some work on the house.'

"I mistakenly stood in the doorway when kids sunday school released."

Mulligan's first mulligan.

Water Ski Accident

"I raced a train to the level crossing. It was a tie."

Medical insurance reminder

Attack of footballs.

Murphy and his brother 'sod' at work on their now famous law.

'Sidney's such a klutz. He broke his leg in three places -- Boston, Akron and Salt Lake City.'

Life on Earth - dog bandage.

"Sorry I didn't return your calls of earlier today."