Accident-prone Person Gifts

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Beware of Falling Notice.

"You run into a window, too?"

Rollerblader wears a cast and has wheels on crutches

First aid departments

'This is your lucky day!'

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

'I know just how you feel.'

"...Bug bites, barbecue and lawn mower...and you?"

'While I'm here, Doctor . . .'

'Quick! Contact my doctor!'

"If it's any consolation, the video went viral."

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

'The car has power steering... but the driver doesn't!'

Broken ankle.

'Oops! Maybe I should've put this sign out a little earlier.'

"I sprained it trying to open my medicine."

"...And your underpants were unusually clean for someone who got hit by a bus."

Just Do It. Just Did It.

I've got sharp pains in my ribs after playing sports.... - 'It's porbably muscular... just take pain killers.' - 'Could it be a cracked rib though?' - 'Possibly.' - 'What would I do if it was a cracked rib?' - 'Take more painkillers.' -

You're in luck! I'm the doctor who'll be patching you up after the match.

The Old Good Cop/Bad Cop Routine.

Water Ski Accident

"I raced a train to the level crossing. It was a tie."

"I mistakenly stood in the doorway when kids sunday school released."

Wife to doctor about husband: 'It was a freak accident. He was doing some work on the house.'

Mulligan's first mulligan.

Medical insurance reminder

Attack of footballs.

'Sidney's such a klutz. He broke his leg in three places -- Boston, Akron and Salt Lake City.'

Murphy and his brother 'sod' at work on their now famous law.

"That's chemical law for you. No matter how minor the damage claim, our fee is always major."

Life on Earth - dog bandage.