Injury-prone Friend Gifts

Broken ankle? Blown out knee? Compound fracture? No problem! Get back on the court in a jiff with the amazing new Roller Brace!

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

First aid in mountains

Mac OS 20

No Immediate Danger

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

Beware of Falling Notice.

"Car accident? No, I volunteered to hold the rope for the pinata at my son's birthday party!"

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

Accident-Prone Support Group.

Medieval sculptor hits thumb while carving a gargoyle.

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

'We got here too late. All his fizz is gone!'

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'

"...Bug bites, barbecue and lawn mower...and you?"

Big man on Krampus

"My phone won't fold but the manufacturer did."

I'm bored and broke. My gadgets seem old and outdated. I can't buy anything new. I can't work because the economy stinks. I'll just die of boredom. Hold on. Surely you can think of some other exciting and self-destructive activity to distract you from facing your real problems. Ooh, my inside voice has an idea. What's Darlene up to?

The smoking Gun

"I quit worrying. I've gone 100% non-non and completely free-free."

'It's an old badminton injury.'

"I sprained it trying to open my medicine."

Just Do It. Just Did It.

'No broken bones. You're lucky, looks like the tree helped break your fall.'

Rugby player searches on line for 'front teeth'.

I've got sharp pains in my ribs after playing sports.... - 'It's porbably muscular... just take pain killers.' - 'Could it be a cracked rib though?' - 'Possibly.' - 'What would I do if it was a cracked rib?' - 'Take more painkillers.' -

You're in luck! I'm the doctor who'll be patching you up after the match.

"I promise I won’t get upset. Just tell me why you chewed up her Chanel pumps."

"I raced a train to the level crossing. It was a tie."

"If you look after your body, it will last you a lifetime."

'Occupation?'

Inequality Protests

'Uh Uh. No way am I sitting on those. That color is just wrong for me!'

"I did warn you about the heat in Greece, Mrs. Marsdon, a sunburnt tongue is no laughing matter."