Humorous Horticulturists Gifts

Gardening Duel.

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'So much for talking to plants. I distinctly heard it tell me to shut up!'

Bonsai Exhibit

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

Man is injured transporting cacti.

Hose and Flower in Perfect Harmony.

Plants to Avoid - Creeping Wallenda

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

"Your roots are showing."

"I dread these W.I. meetings

It's an unwritten law. Guys can like only two kinds of flowering plants - a cactus with thorns or that one that eats flies.

'Grow you son of a bitch!'

Square Yard

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"

Garden Shop: Pig $#!@ and Sheep $#!@

"Lift your stems."

Avoid Constant Borrowing

Annuals - Perennials - Eternals

Cow Fishing on the mighty tundra.

'Mmm thanks for the delicious blueberry lolly chaps.'

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.