Humor Horticulturists Gifts

Plants to Avoid - Creeping Wallenda

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

"What are you in for?"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'So much for talking to plants. I distinctly heard it tell me to shut up!'

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

Bonsai Exhibit

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

Man is injured transporting cacti.

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

Hose and Flower in Perfect Harmony.

They're Brazillian!

"Your roots are showing."

"I dread these W.I. meetings

It's an unwritten law. Guys can like only two kinds of flowering plants - a cactus with thorns or that one that eats flies.

"Lift your stems."

Avoid Constant Borrowing

F&E Landscape Architects. Ground cover plants are the Peter Pan of landscape design. The never "grow up"!

'Grow you son of a bitch!'

Square Yard

'That's a definite 'no' to us being a zombie then?'

Garden Shop: Pig $#!@ and Sheep $#!@

Annuals - Perennials - Eternals

Cow Fishing on the mighty tundra.

"Oh lord, I think we're in a Japanese horror movie!"