Horticulture Humorists Gifts

'Grow you son of a bitch!'

Prize vegetables.

The Busy Gardener

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

Gardener attacked by plants.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Gardener

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Doing the borders.

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

Florabation - '..mmm...It must be spring!'

Gardener Cutting Tree into 'Rock' Symbol.

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

Horti-Culture

Rose Garden

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Garden Goddess.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

Garden.

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

An old man growing berries

"Did I show you my new climbing hydrangea plants, Mr. Fessler?... Mr. Fessler?"

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

Award Winning Gardener

"I'm losing my patience with you."