Horticultural Humorists Gifts

'She's stopped talking to me....She just yells that I have to grow...'

Polly txt speak

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'Yes, all at once!'

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Emergency Hipster Beard

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

Alien embryo growing in earth.

The First Fire Stick

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

"Suddenly, you’re a fan of New England stone work?"

Giant Monster in Bath

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"She's a miniature."

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

Baby being fed using a lego construction.

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

This is NOT 'nipping out'.